Contrariwise

Over winter break, I read Wendy Shalit’s Girls Gone Mild. I meet with the lovely ladies of the CSC once a month to talk about the issues Shalit discusses in her book. It’s a very well-written book, and our meetings have been great. Part of our goal is not just to sit around in our Catholic bubble, talking about things, but to do something. Kaitlyn and I collaborated on our something: a guest column for the campus newspaper, The Diamondback. If it gets published, it will be one of the boldest, most terrifying, most exhilarating things I’ve ever done, but I am confident that I’m doing it for all the right reasons.

Update (4/22/08): It was published today! The responses have been about half positive, half negative. I’ve been called some interesting and profane names, but I don’t regret submitting it at all.

To all girls: You are beautiful. You are not gorgeous because of your hot body or sexy clothes. You are so lovely because you are the crown of creation. To all guys: Help us realize our dignity as women by being real men. We know we’re not blameless, but you can show strength by living up to the challenge of showing all women that they are loved—and by ignoring the alleged Skirt Day. We are all human beings, not just human bodies. When we’re inching toward middle age, and the minis start to look ridiculous, shouldn’t we be assured that love will remain?

Those are sweet sentiments, I know, but words are worthless compared to action. It’s spring. The sun has returned, the cherry blossoms are at their prime, and the girls’ clothes are getting smaller. With warm weather comes the return of super-skimpy clothing. Here at Maryland, where we’re all trying to learn something, eventually get degrees, and have some fun along the way, we’d like to think we’re building a respectful culture. Maybe the women are even finding empowerment, The Vagina Monologues notwithstanding. But when a girl can’t take more than two steps without pausing to pull down her skirt and cover a little more leg, that doesn’t signal power. It signals defeat.

We live in the aftermath of the sexual revolution. Our mothers fought long and hard for the right to wear the micro-minis their moms wouldn’t let them leave the house in. They felt free, but that freedom has been twisted back on our generation. The new oppression makes young women, especially on college campuses, feel compelled to wear immodest clothing. The new feminism emphasizes the innate, dignified, and unique roles of men and women. It is more interested in a cute skirt from Old Navy than a feathered thong from Victoria’s Secret, bought to peek over low-rise jeans accidentally-on-purpose. The detractors against modesty remain, and they don’t even realize they’re complicit. “It’s what in the stores,” says my own mother about my 16-year-old sister’s tight tank tops. “That doesn’t mean you have to buy it,” I think, “and if you keep buying it, they’ll keep making it.”

Don’t think guys play no part in the new oppression. If a guy turns his head after you because you’re not wearing enough clothes, then it’s his fault, too. But if he told you that your modest clothes made you look pretty, wouldn’t that be infinitely better? Guys, who would you rather date: the girl who respects herself—and you—enough to cover up, or the girl that doesn’t care, and won’t care even when your friends start to check her out? Don’t encourage the wild girls. Show the mild girls that you respect them, you want to protect them, and you still desire them.

I have to admit that my own modesty kick is a recent development. I remember the way my ex-boyfriend and male classmates looked at me in miniskirts and low-cut tops. The only reason I felt good was because I knew they were looking at me instead of the other girls, so they had to pay attention to my thoughts and words…when they looked up. Men are inherently visual. Women know this; that’s why the girl is bothering to pull down her skirt instead of moving right along and blaming the men for their lack of self-control. She knows that the spring breeze shouldn’t be hitting that part of her thigh. She doesn’t want to dress that way, but what else can she do?

Rebel! It’s as simple as putting on a t-shirt under that tank or buying a longer shirt for those jeans. You don’t have to ignore your heart when it reminds you that you’re more than a bunch of body parts. You have more to offer than skin. If you don’t want to be treated like an object, don’t give the world a clear view of the objects you want it to look beyond. Grab some leggings for that mini; the 80s are in right now. No one’s saying you have to grow your hair into long pigtails and find dress patterns from Little House on the Prairie. Try some modesty on for size. You might be surprised at how beautiful you become.

The AP reports that very few people read books these days. Being almost an English teacher, I was upset at first. Then I realized that, if not for Harry Potter and my school reading, I’d fall into that group, too. School, oddly enough, is what keeps me too busy to read for pleasure. When I added the iRead book tracking facebook application, I was dismayed to find that I had almost nothing for my Currently Reading section. (The Bible only sort of counts. Sorry, Lord.) I love to read, and I want to do it more, but my plan to stretch the day into more than 24 hours has yet to go through.

This reminds me that I never posted a review of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. I’ll get on that. In the meantime, read Stephen’s King’s amazing review in Entertainment Weekly.

Melinda Selmys writes in the National Catholic Register this week about the folly of expecting God to prove his existence. Even if he appeared to skeptics and answered every question they raised, they would still find a way to rationalize him away.

I agree that that’s a silly expectation. As I’ve come to learn more about Catholicism and Scripture, I’ve discovered something wonderful. There is so much logic and exegesis that can be applied to everything the Church teaches before you have to “take it on faith.” Why do I believe in the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist? Not just because the Church says so. He said so, in the Bread of Life Discourse (John 6), and he wasn’t joking. If he was joking, he wouldn’t have let so many of his disciples leave him that day.

I believe that faith is something that you must claim for yourself. In Protestant rhetoric, you have to “have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.” It has to be your decision; not your mom’s, not your wife’s, not even just the desire of Jesus himself. I’m not saying that you need to be blinded and knocked off your horse (Acts 22:6-16) before you can reasonably be expected to believe the truth. And I’m not saying that God will accept your bargain (”do this miraculous thing and I’ll believe”) or give you the right “feeling.” I’m saying that God wants us all for himself, and he will give us every opportunity and every grace we need to embrace him. Choose God. The rewards are literally endless.

From a Zenit article on the Family Day peaceful protest recently held in Rome:

A father of three, Azzola said that he and his wife are used to comments and questions about their unusually large family.

Clearly, these Italians still have some stragglers, but the majority have the right idea about marriage, family, and children. Now, if we could just get the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban to trip some other laws down the line to overturning Roe v. Wade, maybe we could get the United States whipped into shape, too. And Spain. They need a lot of help.

If you know me, you know I’m not really into politics or government. I barely manage to keep up with current events. Yahoo! Mail greatly helped with that a few years ago when they started running a feed of the top news stories on the welcome page. I’m glad they kept that part for the beta. Two major stories have piqued my interest in the last few weeks.

The first, of course, is the shootings at Virginia Tech. I found out in the early afternoon, just before I went down to the CSC to go through the CDA financial books with Kelsey. On one level, it was absolutely terrifying. Thirty-two students and professors that simply went to class were shot to death. It could have happened anywhere. It could have happened here. I felt uneasy the following Thursday, in fact, just walking along the side roads toward Susquehanna. We had a special memorial at 7pm Mass the Sunday after that. Poor Kevin was lectoring that night, so he had to keep his composure while reading the full names of all thirty-two victims. I wouldn’t have made it through.

My response to the tragedy also left me uneasy in a different way. When I first saw that news headline, before the full casualty count was in, I prayed for eternal rest for the dead, like I always do. (I have to pray that far too often.) Then, I carried on with my day. I went to the CSC to do CDA stuff, remember, not to pray (though I did attend Mass that evening, as always). Thirty-two people, most of them students, died on a college campus less than 100 miles from where I’m sitting. Why didn’t I react more strongly? How ridiculously desensitized have I become? I was in Germany when the Columbine shootings happened, so I never really had the chance to feel that fear. But now, after this, I’m still so unaffected. It’s not that my faith in Christ assures me that death is only the end of this life and the entrance into the next. It’s not that I don’t identify with the situation. There’s something else wrong, and I don’t think I can blame it on everyone’s favorite scapegoat, modern society.

Even modern society is starting to change. That the Supreme Court upheld the Partial-Birth Abortion Ban brings me great joy. I’m taking COMM 230: Argumentation and Debate this semester. It’s required for my major because today’s secondary students seem unable to write persuasively. Our second major assignment was a modified academic debate. Our instructor let us list preferred topics from a list. Clearly, God wanted to push me to succeed, because I wound up arguing that the Supreme Court should overturn Roe v. Wade. I’ve been out about being pro-life since this year’s March for Life (I never blogged about that, did I?), but this was a huge step. I had to finally sort out what I believe to convince an undoubtedly hostile audience and my opponent that it’s a stupid, stupid excuse for a law.

Luckily, convincing someone to overturn the decision is easier than convincing them that abortion is wrong. The Supreme Court took the same tactic. I applaud the five Catholic justices who constituted (pun not intended) the majority for affirming a belief so important to the faith. At the same time, I wish a non-Catholic justice had joined them, just to strengthen that bloc. It’s time America started to see that some issues go beyond faith. Banning this one (horrific) method of abortion is not the same as banning them all. It’s the first step to acknowledging that life begins before birth. As an intriguing pro-life doctor in the UK said (courtesy of The Ark and the Dove), if doctors scramble to save a baby born premature, why are other doctors killing babies at the same stage of development? It doesn’t make sense.

Will abortion someday be illegal? Maybe. Will people cease to want abortions, making the legality moot? Possibly. Will we look back on the abortion question as we do the Negro question, with one landmark Supreme Court case completely overturning another after decades? I hope so.