Contrariwise

…but smart students don’t have sex. My friend Guy IMed me a link to a science blog post about an interesting study. It’s late and I read it pretty quickly, but the gist of it is that students with better grades, more education, and higher IQs don’t have sex as much or early as others. The statistics actually work out to a sort of bell curve, because the same is true for the worst-performing students. They finally do get around to mentioning religious correlations, though their conclusion in that smarter people are less religious. How unfortunate.

Once I got through it all, I had to tell Guy what I thought about it.

Me: hmm. interesting report. so i’m either really smart, really dumb, or really religious and therefore dumb.
Guy: see, i took the point that chastity is a peer-reviewed good idea
Me: chastity and virginity are related but not the same.
Guy: i know
Guy: also, not majoring in Studio Arts lol
Me: yeah.
Guy: also, according to that report, being dumb is a bigger hurdle to getting laid (for girls) than being too smart
Guy: so down the road, you shouldn’t do too badly (if you decide to start a family/whatever)

We had a Holy Hour for vocations at the CSC tonight, coincidentally. Father Bill’s mini-homily during Vespers was actually kind of nice. The guys really do get courted. The bishop never comes to see the girls. I’m not suggesting that women should become priests (in fact, I strongly believe they shouldn’t), but we could use some attention, too. In some ways, discerning a religious vocation as a woman might even be harder.

At least I’m apparently smart enough to take the time to discern properly.

When I first activated this theme, Guy wandered through to check it out. The original design has a complete list of archives in the sidebar. He decided to jump into my very earliest entries, way back in 2002 (yeah, I’ve really been blogging for that long), and discovered one of my first mentions of the Good Ship. That was five years ago.

What can I say? My Harry Potter love runs deep. When the CSC Spring Retreat committee performed our 24-themed skit, I got to leave Charlton as Jack Bauer with an unsolved mystery so I wouldn’t be late for my seminar, “Snape: Good Guy or Very Bad Man?” They wrote that part just for me. xD

Even the Baltimore Sun staff agrees with me (via The Leaky Cauldron). FYI, I think Snape is a good guy with some deep personal issues that makes bad choices. He’s a lot like Eminem in that respect, actually.

Last spring, I had my first crush since breaking up with Greg over a year before. I can’t say who it was because I never know who’s going to pass by my little corner of the web world. Suffice it to say that my world was thrown completely off-kilter. I hadn’t had feelings like that in a long time, since before Greg. Having become a devout Catholic since that breakup, though, I had a different perspective on things. I knew God was in charge and I had to trust in Him. I just wished that His plans would look a little more like mine. I did what I could to subtly let this guy know that I was interested. Hana noticed that I wore my hair down for church one morning when I knew I’d see him. “I am not using my hair to catch a man!” I insisted. I kind of was, but only because I was determined to get him to ask me out, and not the other way around. Men react strongest to visual stimulation, so I wanted to make sure the best parts of me—in a completely chaste way—were visible to him. It didn’t work out, and after some nasty moments of anger at and mistrust in God (and his starting to date someone else!), I moved on.

Now, though, I’m in a similar position. Maybe I’m just a victim of spring fever; though, considering yesterday’s sleet and chill, I have no idea what season it is. This guy is equally unavailable, however, because he already has a girlfriend. I wish I had gotten there first. I am now stuck with the task of realigning my heart to respect that relationship. It’s a tricky situation. If he or I were married or engaged, there would be no question: he’d be automatically off-limits. Father Bill suggested I act as though we were; neither married people nor consecrated celibates stop feeling romantic attraction, so it’s good training for my future. On the other hand, dating is not the same as married or celibate. Dating relationships end. If his did end with her, I’d still be interested. How willing am I to harden my heart against him romantically if that is a possibility? Not very.

All of these thoughts remind me of my inconclusive period of discernment. I have gotten closer to God since I decided to make that effort, but I’m no closer to hearing the call. I caught up on my Boundless articles recently, including two particularly good ones on marriage and dating. Carolyn McCulley writes about developing “Humility That Attracts and Encourages” men in the process of marital discernment. Dating is hard, so she has good advice on how to make it easier for Christian men to take the lead. Scott Croft tells his friend, “Brother, You’re Like a Six,” so we should all redefine our expectations for spouses in light of the Bible and our everyday lives. If I do eventually figure out that I’m called to marriage, I have to prepare myself to be a good wife and mother. Boundless has some suggestions on that as well, in Candice Watters’ old blog, Why Family.

Love is complicated. So is God, but He is infinite. Therefore, godly love is infinitely complicated. (Quite the depressing syllogism there.)

Maura sent me a link to a Washington Post article on the recent trend in non-monetary compensation for priestly sexual abuse victims.

This is ridiculous.

I’m not saying that priests who sexually abuse children should go without punishment. The preventive programs in place for all people in church ministry are long overdue. The victims of such abuse clearly need healing and deserve help getting it.

But they do not need to exhume a priest who’s been dead for over 45 years because he is buried near their parents. Do they not think God has judged these men according to their deeds (Romans 14:10-12)? Do they not think that their parents in the “hereafter,” knowing about the abuse, would have forgiven their abuser? It’s the Christlike thing to do, and forgiving does not require forgetting. You can’t hold a grudge in heaven.

It drives me crazy when victims demand that the sites where their abuse occurred be sold. How many generations might benefit from that retreat center? How many dioceses are staggering under the debt of these multi million-dollar settlements? How many people have a false and negative image of the Church due to these outrageous demands?

These people need to spend some time in prayerful consideration of their actions and the effect on their brothers and sisters in Christ. Asking the Church to help you heal is one thing. Having a monument erected for yourself is a testament to your own unforgiving pride.

Long time no blog, I know. It’s been a rough semester. I have plans for catching up, and one of these days, I will execute them. For now, I’m just going to jump right back in.

(N.B. I’m taking advantage of the <!–more–> feature of WordPress. You have to click the “keep reading” link to see the whole entry. And you thought I’d become more concise.)

As I caught up on some Boundless articles, I came across “Taking Love Next Door,” by David Barshinger. It’s an article about evangelism. I’ve become a very religious person over time. I never thought I’d be the churchgoing, grace-saying, “praise God!” type, but here I am.

So that comes to two topics: what kind of Catholic I am, and what kind of evangelism I do. This article warrants a new discussion of both.
Read the rest…